Buckhead Driving Rules

We moved to Northside Church two years ago. For those new to the area, here are some helpful “Buckhead Driving Rules.”

  • Speed limit signs are mere suggestions.
  • Blinkers are optional.
  • Peachtree Road is a 4 lane street divided into 6 lanes.
  • Construction at Peachtree and Pharr always blocks at least 1 lane.
  • “No Turn on Right” does not apply to YOU.
  • Horns work better than brakes.
  • The bumping sounds you hear are lane dividers.
  • Our zip codes are exempt from the hands-free, cell phone law.
  • Northside Parkway from Howell Mill to Paces Ferry is known as “The Quarter Mile of Death.”
  • Pot holes serve as speed bumps.
  • Neighborhood lanes make great shortcuts.
  • Others tailgate, you draft.
  • The car in the next lane cost 6 figures.
  • Traffic is light from 2:00 a.m. to 4:00 a.m.
  • Do not play “Chicken” with an Amazon delivery van.

The good news is Buckhead traffic will inspire your prayer life and make you cry out to God!

 

April Showers & May Flowers

April showers bring May flowers . . . and POLLEN—and it starts back in March.

Politicians divide the nation into Red and Blue. However, spring unites us as Yellow States!

pollenOver the past weeks, flaxen goo has covered cars, coated lawns, clogged throats, and congested noses. The golden gunk sticks like glue. After a shower, the streets appear to be paved in heavenly gold.

All agree that Georgia is beautiful during the spring. Trees bud, flowers blooms, and grasses grow. Azaleas, dogwoods, daffodils, and day lilies serve as harbingers of summer’s advent.

But the beauty can also be a beast.

The vast palette of buds and blooms produces a noxious cloud of allergens. A reading of over 120 is considered “Extremely High” on the pollen count. Many spring days feature four digit measurements.

Sooner or later, the pollen affects everyone with itchy eyes, sniffly noses, sore throats, and sinus headaches. Patients jam doctors’ offices, and social gatherings sound like tuberculosis’ wards. People pop antihistamines like Tic-Tacs and gargle Chloroseptic like water.

We all learn about the birds, bees, flowers, and trees. The Creator designed this intriguing, intricate process to insure the reproduction of flora.

I would never dare question the Master Gardener’s plan; however, there are spring days when I have enjoyed about as much as I can stand.

Anyone who lives in Georgia, however, better get used to the pollen. In the long run, allergies are a small price to pay for azaleas, daffodils, dogwoods, oaks, red tips, boxwoods, and day lilies.

In Matthew 6, Jesus told his followers not to worry. Then he pointed to the natural beauty all around them and said, “See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.” If God cares for the birds of the air and the flowers of the field, then surely the Creator will also care for us.

So breathe deep and give God thanks for the beauty of this earth—pollen, allergies, and all.

Broadway and the Church

This year Tracy and I purchased season tickets for Broadway in Atlanta. The productions at the Fabulous Fox feature both classic and contemporary musicals.

foxThe patrons who pack the venue reflect the city’s diversity. Different genders, ages, races, ethnicities, orientations, and religions unite for three hours in a shared love of the theater.

We sit together in companionable enjoyment: Democrat and Republican, liberal and conservative, gay and straight, young and old, black and white, Millennials and Baby Boomers. One common interest unites us for the length of a Broadway play.

The church is one body made up of different parts. We are a diverse and different people—some more different than others! No human commonality binds us together. We are a divine creation united in the name of Jesus Christ.

The body of Christ does not achieve unity by abolishing human differences and disagreements. We achieve unity by focusing on Jesus Christ who binds us together and not on the world that tears us apart.

In Ephesians 4, Paul wrote: “There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all.”

One.

Perhaps God’s people could learn a thing or two from Broadway in Atlanta audiences.

Easter Sunday Schedule

Easter Sunday Schedule

Northside United Methodist Church

2799 Northside Drive NW

Atlanta, Georgia 30305

www.northsideumc.org

8:30 a.m.                     Traditional Worship Service              Sanctuary

9:45 a.m.                     Contemporary Worship Service         Faith & Arts Center

9:45 a.m.                     Traditional Worship Service              Sanctuary

11:00 a.m.                   Traditional Worship Service              Sanctuary

11:15 a.m.                   Contemporary Worship Service         Faith & Arts Center

Easter animals will be present in the Wallace Garden.

Childcare for ages 6 weeks to pre-K  available during all services.

Christ the Lord is risen! Christ is risen, indeed!

Practical Advice, Part 4: Miscellaneous

  • Use sunscreen liberally, and make sure your children do the same.
  • Computer passwords should contain numbers, letters, and symbols. Remember there are only 9 numbers but 26 letters in the English language.
  • Use an address book to keep up with passwords and PINs.
  • Salt on a restaurant coaster prevents the bottom of a glass from sticking.
  • advice4In public restrooms, use elbows or feet rather than hands for opening doors and flushing commodes.
  • Carry hand sanitizer in your car or purse.
  • Walk a minimum of 7,000 steps a day. If in doubt, wear a pedometer.
  • Learn to touch type—regardless of age. Keyboards provide a portal into the electronic world. However, never forget that virtual reality is a poor excuse for reality.
  • Add a working day to your week by eliminating an hour of television or the Internet each day.
  • Use words liberally like “Please,” “Thank you,” “I’m sorry,” and “I forgive you.”
  • Say “I love you” to family and friends daily. Say it especially when you don’t feel like it.
  • Wear clean underwear in case you’re in an accident. Actually, wear clean underwear on general principles.
  • Practice moderation in all things—including moderation.
  • Only one person in the history of the world was perfect, and neither of us is him. Be eager to forgive and seek forgiveness.
  • Listen to other people’s advice, but make up your own mind.

Practical Advice, Part 3: Home

  • Run hot water in the kitchen sink before turning on the dish washer.
  •  “Burp” Tupperware for a better seal.
  • Clothes pins make great “chip clips” along with sealing cereal, flour, and more.
  • Preheat a mug with hot water to keep coffee warm longer.
  • advice3Baking soda and vinegar followed by boiling water will dissolve most plumbing clogs.
  • Fitted sheets can be folded by tucking the elastic corners under one another.
  • Put pillows in a freezer for twenty-four hours to kill microscopic mites and other critters. (And, yes, your pillow has them).
  • Rubbing your hands on stainless steel (a sink works) removes an onion’s odor.
  • Clean the lint trap in a dryer often. Built up lint is a fire hazard.
  • Kitty litter soaks up oil spills in garages.
  • Replace fire detector batteries when Daylight Saving Time begins and ends.
  • Plug the two ends of an electrical cord together before looping the doubled line.
  • Rub a stubborn key with pencil lead. The graphite serves as a dry lubricant.
  • NEVER mix bleach and ammonia. The resulting fumes are toxic.
  • Never mess with electricity, natural gas, strange dogs, or snakes.
  • Don’t take a shower during a thunder storm. Lighting and water don’t mix.
  • Replace a toothbrush after recovering from a cold or the flu.
  • Dry a razor thoroughly between uses—it will stay sharp longer.
  • Make baked goods for the pastor.

Practical Advice, Part 2: Cars

  • Check your cars oil and air pressure regularly.
  • Don’t let the fuel gauge go below a quarter of a tank.
  • Don’t drink and drive. Don’t text and drive. Don’t eat and drive.
  • advice2Just drive!
  • Touch the car before handling a gas pump. Static electricity can ignite petroleum fumes.
  • Lock the doors while pumping gas.
  • NEVER leave a child or pet in the car alone—even if it’s “just for a minute.”
  • Look both ways after the light turns green for someone running a “yellow” light. Sooner or later this simple habit will save your life.
  • Where there’s a ball, there’s a boy. Hit the brakes immediately.
  • Don’t swerve off the road to avoid an animal. Brake quickly but safely.
  • Over 80 mph, you are aiming rather than steering a car.
  • When backing a trailer, put one hand at the bottom of the steering wheel. Whichever way your hand goes, the trailer will follow.
  • Have car keys in hand when approaching your vehicle in a parking lot. If accosted by a stranger, toss the keys under a car.
  • When possible, keep one car length distance from the vehicle in front of you for every 10 mph of speed
  • When road rage threatens, BREATHE. Deep breath in. Hold. Deep breath out. Hold. Let it go.
  • Let Jesus take the wheel.