The Art and Science of Eating Church Donut Holes

Northside Church provides refreshments on Sunday mornings that feature Dunkin’ Donuts Munchkins. The comfort food of carbohydrates and sugar tastes like God’s goodness. Caffeinated coffee ensures everyone stays awake during the sermon.

Dunkin’ Donuts donutologists claim that 4.5 to 5 Munchkins equal one donut by net weight and caloric content. I find this information reassuring while visiting the hospitality table. A handful of donut holes feels gluttonous while one donut displays commendable restraint.

To paraphrase a Raymond Chandler quote about whiskey, there is no such thing as a bad donut. There are only some donuts that aren’t as good as others.

The pastor’s personal favorites (donuts, not whiskeys) include jelly-filled, glazed-chocolate, and powder-sugar. My OCD forces me to take two of each, exceeding the 5 Munchkin equivalency rule referenced above.

Black suits and powdered donuts don’t mix, so I’ve designed an ingenious solution. I fill a disposable cup with Munchkins and spear the fried pastries with a coffee stirrer!

Follow me for more fine-dining tips.

Psalm 34:8 declares, “Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the one who takes refuge in God.” Join us Sunday mornings at Northside as we dine on God’s Word and donut holes!

1 thought on “The Art and Science of Eating Church Donut Holes

  1. Bill, I ALWAYS enjoy “Treasures in Jars of Clay,” but what does it say about me that I felt compelled to tell you how much I liked this one! Thanks for the inspiration, with your blog and sermons. They never disappoint!


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