We came home to find this letter on the counter from Sam the Yorkshire Terrier.

Dear Kibble and Treat Providers,

While you were gone . . .

Someone accidentally had an accidental accident in the house accidentally. However, don’t worry. It took place in the guest bedroom closet where no one will notice for days.

Someone tore all of the stuffing out of my friend, Frog, and strewed it across the floor like polyester snowflakes in August.

Someone jumped up on the neatly made bed and scratched the bedspread into a comfy nest for napping.

Someone scattered dog food across the kitchen floor in order to find just the right kibble to nibble.

Someone sloshed water out of the dog bowl while getting a drink.

Someone left nose prints on the glass while barking at the evil mail carrier.

Someone perched on top of the sofa pillows as a watchtower to guard the house.

Someone raided the bathroom wastebasket AGAIN and dumped Kleenex, Q-tips, and cotton balls on the tiles.

Someone grabbed the end of the toilet paper roll and ran through the house with it streaming behind him.

Someone couldn’t wait to greet you at the door with twists, turns, yips, and doggy-breath kisses.

Someone promises these things will NEVER, EVER happen again. Well, at least until you are gone the next time.

Love,

Sam