Growing Older but Not Up: A Collection of Observations, Insights, Adages, and Memes

Joints provide a Rice-Krispy-soundtrack of snaps, crackles, and pops
GI tracts make the same noises as a coffee maker.
Drivers lower the radio volume while following directions.
Doctors regularly use the phrase, “For a person your age.”
Medicare supplement ads fill the mailbox and inbox.
Speeders are maniacs and slowpokes are morons on the interstate.
A hot date involves a recliner and heating pad.
Empty boxes fill the garage because they’re REALLY good boxes.
Pastimes include staring out a window for inordinate amounts of time. Bird feeder optional.
Bending over lasts a while in case there’s anything else to do at floor level.
Casual conversations cover medical procedures, home remedies, and physician references.
My aching back and What a pain in the neck are more than expressions.
Night driving provides a light show of halos and starbursts.
But most days growing older beats the alternative.

Treasure in Jars of Clay